It was supposed to be the perfect night of my life. I had called you earlier that day to remind you to make reservations at oceanview for our dinner date but you told me you had a better idea. We would go somewhere solemn; somewhere the two of us could talk without being interrupted by the noise made by other customers in the restaurant. You told me you had a surprise for me and because you were just too shy for your own good, you decided your apartment would be great. I argued about how I wanted that night to be really romantic and special. You told me not to worry, that it would be the best night of my life. I teased you about trying to get us to be alone. You just laughed and I knew if I was there, you could have playfully spanked my ass. Your laughter reminded me of the first time we met; that was five years ago and the novelty still had not worn out.

As every day passed, I found myself drowning farther into the depth of love and I loved the way I felt. You made me feel like there was no end to what love was. We could lie in each other’s arms all day without talking much and still feel like we just had the best conversation. More than often, I would wonder what I did to deserve a man so loving as you. I was so lost in my day dream that I did not hear what you said. You said goodbye with the belief that I picked every word you said. I dropped the call and called my P.A to come into my office through the office’s intercom. Within seconds, my docile assistant was in my office. He smiled as he usually did and sat on the chairs. We were very close; he was like the brother I always craved for while growing up.

“What’s up, doll?”, he said playfully toying with a miniature statue of black haired lady with a serious look on her face, holding a pen and a paper in her hands. It was a gift from you. You told me it reminded you of me. You told me the lady looked just as serious as I looked whenever I was busy with work especially when the deadline was near and the fact that I was a writer/chief editor, the pen and the paper was just a plus that really showed the statue was really meant for me. It was not the gift I was expecting on our 3rd year anniversary but it was so thoughtful of you that I forgave you immediately for not buying what I wanted.

I slapped his hands off the doll and gave him instructions on what he should do for me. I told him about the change in plans for the night and he gave me a smile that showed he approved of it. I shook my head and placed my laptop in its pouch and packed the essential documents into a folder before dumping them into my hand bag. He hugged me and wished me a wonderful night. He whispered some obscene words in my ears and I gave him a light punch on his shoulders. I smiled as I left the building. Even if my assistant didn’t tell me to, I planned to give you the best part of me; that part of me I had reserved for you if we made to the 5th year.

I got home and took a luxury bath. I used the bubble gel that you loved so much; the one with rose water and goat milk. You told me it made my skin soft and it smelled heavenly. After the luxury bath, I rubbed sweet smelling oil on my body; I wanted to drive you crazy just with the way I smelled. I was putting on the black leather lingerie complete with garter belts, whips and cuffs when I got a message from you. I rolled my eyes as I read your text. You wanted to me to send the picture of what I was wearing at that moment. I sent a “tongue-out” smiley to you and told you to be patient. You replied with the “sad” and “crying” smiley and I could not help but smile. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to send you the glimpse of what you were going to feast on, so I took two sexy pictures; one with the cuff and the other with the whip. I made sure the picture captured everything. You called almost immediately after I sent the picture and was whistling.

I laughed and you told me I looked so hot. Not that you had not seen me almost naked before. There was a time we almost did it but you restrained yourself and that even made me love you more. You were short of words, all you did was whistle and I kept on laughing. I told you I would soon be on my way to your apartment and you told me you would join me soon. So I wore a long summer dress over my lingerie and drove the short distance to your apartment. I quickly re-arranged your room, changed your sheets and poured the rose petals I brought with me. I dimmed the light till it gave the effect that I wanted; like the moonlight. It was perfect just as I had imagined my first night would be. I rushed to kitchen and brought out two flutes from the cabinet. I brought out the wine and wrapped it expertly in a silk scarf like my assistant had taught me, then I kept in the bucket of ice. I took it to the room and kept it on the small table beside your bed; your cherished footstool. Satisfied with the work I had done, I put on the i-pod and was glad when the melancholy voice of Adele filled the room.

You used to tease me about Adele all the time. I would feign being hurt and you would explain how I need not listen to songs about heartbreaks when I had a man who wouldn’t break my heart. You told me to start listening to happy songs; beautiful love songs from Beyonce. I would roll my eyes at you and increase the volume. It was no news you loved Beyonce so much that you wished I would love her that much too. Fact is, it had started growing on me but I would never let you know. I wanted you to love Adele too. I got bored after a while and you told me not to cook, you had something special ordered from my favorite restaurant. I picked my phone and called you but got no response, I imagined you were driving back home already. I removed the summer dress I was putting on and kept it in the wardrobe. Clad in only the leather lingerie, I sat on the bed and waited for my man to come. I would have made the best 5th year anniversary gift.

It was the sound of my phone ringing that woke me up. I must have slept off while waiting for you to come. I stood up and picked up the phone. It was you calling me. I pressed the green button and waited for you to say something funny. You were good at playing pranks and I would not give in. The voice I heard wasn’t yours. Someone was talking to me but I could not hear a thing. The man was saying nonsense; at least that was I thought. Maybe it was network playing pranks on me. I severed the call and called your number back. It was the same story; I was needed at some private hospital at surulere not so far from his apartment, you were in a coma. I hurriedly wore your jalamia, that one you always leave by the door. I wore bathroom slippers and drove like a mad person to the hospital. I got there and met your sister. She looked at me and started crying. I began screaming and jerking the nurse near me to tell me what was going on. She only told me to be calm, that the best of the doctors were attending to you. I couldn’t be calm.

I paced the waiting area and refused to be consoled. Your sister tried, she hugged me and told me soothing words but nothing worked. Then your father came in. He was a very busy man but he loved you dearly. He went straight to the doctor, denial etched on his face. The doctor took him by the hand and practically dragged him to his office. If it was another place and time, I would have laughed at the picture it painted in my mind. Some minutes later, your dad came out of the office. He looked twenty year older than his age and his usual strong demeanor had thawed. I rushed to him and he looked at me with pity. It was then I knew you were gone. A lone tear had escaped from their confines and was trickling down your dad’s face. The tear rooted my suspicion and I couldn’t remember what happened after then.

I woke up and found myself in a hospital bed. Your parents were there and your sister too. My parents were outside talking to a doctor. You weren’t there with them. I shut my eyes and started crying. Your mom could not stand it, she started crying too. Your sister came to my side and said all kinds of sweet things to calm me down. I did not want to hear those words, I wanted you to come but you never did. You were gone forever.

That was two months ago and it still feels like the first day. My mom said the jalamia stinks but I don’t care, I’m going to wear it everyday till you come back. She told me to stop wearing the ring too. They found the ring in your car and a journal with the still-life you plastered all over the pages. That was the surprise you had for me, you wanted to propose to me but you never came back to me. You never even claimed that part of me that was to be yours eternally. You promised never to leave me but you left when we were just about to start another journey together. You wrote that in the journal. You wrote that I will never be alone, that you will always be my side everywhere I go and that was the reason you had your pictures all over the pages, so I can stare at you no matter where I am. I don’t want the still-life you, I want the real you. I want the five years of my life back, I want my true love back, I want my true happiness back. I’m a living corpse without you, I want you back. I know they think I’m mad but I’m not. I’ve not even taken off the lingerie. I want you to see me like the picture I sent to you, so I’m here, waiting for you to come and claim what’s yours; me. Till you come, I’ll never stop talking to the walls.